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Never Say Never

I told Auntie Em recently I would NEVER write on marriage!  That just was not my calling!  Well, lo and behold, what does the Lord speak to me to write about?  You guessed it!  MARRIAGE!

I have been married to hubby for 29 years this December.  There are some things that will greatly help your marriage, or if you are engaged will greatly help you know if your union is meant to be!  I will list them as follows:

1.  DO NOT be unequally yoked!!  Before you ever take “the plunge”  if you are truly a committed Christian and Jesus is truly Lord of your life (and if He is not you have much misery ahead because that means satan is calling the shots!) you will ask the Lord if this is “the one” God would have you to marry!  You should look and discuss seriously your agreements and disagreements on what you believe.  This will truly matter to you especially when children come along!  If you believe church “abc” teaches what the Bible says and hubby/wifey believes church “xyz” does you now are torn in your marriage and the children are going to be in the struggle!  Satan always brings divorce through DIVISION!  This doesn’t mean you will agree on everything, but God HAS to be agreed upon!  Your union is blessed through Him and by Him!  When you keep Him first you will make it through the rough patches!

2.  Never deny one another in the marriage bed!   God says in the word you are only to abstain for a SHORT time of prayer and fasting lest you open the door for one to be tempted!  See WE open the door.  I have had women come to me for prayer and counsel  and use intimacy as a controlling tool in marriage.  Those marriages did not make it!  NEVER EVER use intimacy as a tool to get something you want materialistically, to turn a no to a yes, etc.. Now I am going to get really real!  A woman who uses sex to get what she wants from a man is called a prostitute!  You are a wife!  You are called to be pure and to give yourself to your husband out of respect and love!  Keep it real!  Husbands, a note to you.  I had a pastor once that told us that at  a previous church he had pastored a prominent couple in the church were divorcing.  Everyone was shocked!  The wife had been having an affair.  No one could believe it because she had never been that “type”.  It turns out, if the couple would not agree on something or they would have an argument  the husband would go for weeks and months without having a “relationship” with the wife to “punish” her!  Now, the wife should not have had an affair under ANY circumstances,  BUT,  my pastor said it was the husband’s fault it happened as much as it was her’s due to the fact he disobeyed the word and opened the door for temptation in this area!  Husbands, if you don’t tell your wife she is beautiful, appreciated, and that you love her satan will make certain someone will show up that will.  If you love your wife, you don’t want that consequence!

3.  Agree in advance on children.  This is an important discussion and surprisingly few people have it!  You need to know how many you want, if you both feel the same about whether you will continue to work or if you stay home with the children.  Children are a gift, but they can also put a strain on a marriage!  Your time is no longer your own, or just for the two of you.  Make sure you have the same familial goals!

4.  MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER!  This has been the hard one for hubby and me.  Our lives can become so busy that there are days, even though we are in the same room, we fail to “see” each other.  I am working on a project right now that I have to give on some days 12-14 hours to.  Hubby has an after work routine and I have things I have to see to.  If we aren’t careful, we can literally go a few days without true, quality time due to busyness.  I can always tell it because I begin to feel a loneliness for him.  I begin to feel a missing and a sadness that tries to come on me and he does as well.  That is when we look at each other and say, “Let’s have a date!”  It will either be dinner out  and a movie at home (our children are grown so we can be alone at home) or we take a little trip together.  NEVER COUNT A TRIP OUT!  They work wonders on a marriage!!    When you are on a trip, and it doesn’t have to be expensive cruises, see 50 states in 50 days, etc. it can be a camping trip for a long weekend.  In fact, those are the ones we prefer!  We are away from phones, surprise company visits, the internet, etc..

5.  NEVER EVER GO TO BED MAD!!  The Bible tells us to not let the sun go down on our anger, therefore giving the devil room to bring the stronghold of bitterness!  Bitterness is like a poison.  It literally kills the whole body and it will kill your love and your marriage!  Even if you can’t see eye to eye when it is time to go to bed, agree to disagree lovingly.  Pray together and ask God to show you a way to either compromise or open your eyes to what your mate is trying to communicate in order to see “eye to eye” on a subject.  God will ALWAYS lead you together!   God will NEVER divide you and separate you in ANY way!  Remember ALL couples argue and if they say they don’t either they are lying or one will end up killing the other!  You cannot take two separate personalities and think they will agree ALL the time!  If you do, you are very naive!  You may see couples and think, “Oh, they have the perfect marriage!”   They may put on a good front, but don’t think their lives are perfect and don’t compare your marriage to theirs!   You never know what goes on behind closed doors!

I hope this blessed you, dear reader!  Blessings to you!  May your union be abundantly blessed!!   See you next time!!

P.S.  For more marriage devotionals check out my friend Auntie Em at http://auntieemsguide.wordpress.com/  You will be blessed!!

24 Responses to “Never Say Never”

  1. Rejoycin says:

    I am glad God prompted you to share this. Good post. God must be moving in this direction on peoples hearts or I am hitting them all!! Better get crackin’ and study! >>>>>>

    • simplyjuliana says:

      It has been showing up a lot! The number one thing the enemy loves to do is divide and subtract! Thank God, He adds and multiplies!! So glad you stopped by!! Good to see you! Blessings~Juliana

  2. Auntie Em says:

    Love it!!!

  3. Juliana I have been following your blog for a very short time but must tell you how very blessed and inspired by the lessons you teach. this one with the interaction between you and your fellow blogger Lyn Leahz has truly been informative and exhorting. My hubs and I just renewed our vows for our 25th and our Pastor mentioned a few of the things you both mentioned here. If you don’t mind I would like to print this off and give it to him. thank you so much for your ministery to all of us. Now I am going to see Lyn’s blog I may even follow her. :0) God Bless!

  4. Lyn Leahz says:

    He took something out of Himself…His Word..JESUS…and came here in the flesh to give Himself for us so that we could join together with Him as one in the Spirit..while we are here in t his world in the flesh. This is why when we truly commit to Christ as our Savior, we are married to Him..the covenant is sealed. It is a very important covenant never to be taken lightly. And those who take it lightly and continue committing adultery on God by serving the devil, according to the Bible (living IN disobedience) are not truly saved. For the record, I don’t mean making mistakes from time to time..we’ll never be perfect..I’m talking about never truly walking in the Spirit..living your life like you did before you were ever saved… “be ye separate” from the world, the Bible says.

    Every single day that we continue living like we did before salvation is another day we live in adultery and fornication, spiritually, against God. When we come to understand that we are married to God spiritually, and that our marriage(s) is/are a perfect reminder of this, and when we come to really understand how to fall in love with God…then the walk becomes less difficult.

    • AMEN!! You need to write about this, too!

      • Lyn Leahz says:

        LOL!!! I just did! Right here! ;-) See, your article was so good, it inspired lot’s of thoughts! God bless you sister Juliana!!!!
        (PS, I finished my decorating yesterday. I know it’s not your style..but what do you think of my blog now? I had the same back before, but it looks nice with the crinkled paper look, parchment and rough edges.)

      • Let me look…I am sure I will love it! It is YOUR blog anyway! Can’t wait to see it! Wish I got a notification when you publish! I have tried everyhing!

      • Lyn Leahz says:

        What do you mean you don’t get notification? You mean when I publish a post, nothing comes to you? Go to my webpage and click on follow again. If it says you’re already following me, click unfollow and then follow again to reset it. See if that works. Let me know.

      • Okay let me try that!

  5. Lyn Leahz says:

    A blood covenant TO US..I forgot to add there in the last statement…through Jesus Christ.

  6. Lyn Leahz says:

    Very good article, Juliana! Of course, they always are! ;-) Marriage has been so under attack for years now, and progressively gets worse. Something the Lord meant as the holiest thing, which symbolizes Christ’s relationship with the church, His bride. This is why Satan is so hell bound on destroying intimacy and marriage, because it is just that holy! Two thumbs up sister!

    • Oh, I love what you added about the symbolism of it all! It is exactly that…Husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it! Thank you, Lyn and as always GLORY TO GOD!!!

      • Lyn Leahz says:

        Well the husband is symbolic of Christ. The wife is symbolic of the church. When a man and woman are intimate, and he becomes united as one to her, this is the closest physically and spiritually that two people can ever be in the flesh; this is symbolic of the Holy Spirit coming in to us in perfect unity with God the Father…the overwhelming feeling one experiences during that moment of intimacy is the example of the anointing of the Holy Spirit when He comes to live ‘in’ us.

        This is why whenever we have intercourse with someone, it is a very spiritual thing, and we take in any spirits they have..we become one with those spirits. That is one of the reasons why God said one man for one woman. God also knew about diseases, as well as emotions involved in intimacy. Furthermore, He knew the trials and tribulations of becoming pregnant outside of wedlock and with different partners. There are so many reasons why God made one woman for one man and one man for one woman.

        Some people are very uncomfortable talking about the subject of sex and intimacy in the church; however, it should be discussed more..not avoided. It’s not dirty…if done in the way God designed, like I said, it is one of the most holiest things God gave to a man and woman on this earth as a constant reminder of His love for the Body of Christ (the Bride) and of His intimacy with us through the Holy Spirit, who ‘joins us together’ with God. Husband and wife make a blood covenant together when they are intimate, just as God made a blood covenant through Jesus Christ.

      • Great points, Lyn!!! Thank you so much!! This is, for sure, a teaching that needs to be taught more often!!

  7. coastalmom says:

    Every Pastor marrying young people or for that matter any age out there… should hand out a copy of THIS!!!! Unfortunately, they all seem so simple to follow but everyone is in such different places in life, some rules are harder to follow than others…
    As for that divorcing couple… we NEVER know what goes on behind closed doors now do we? Great post! WHY are you not writing about marriage?!!! I think you have a calling! Funny what we limit ourselves to… God has a way of getting those pearls anyway! ;)

    • Glory to God! You are the sweetest thing!!! I really was PETRIFIED on this one!! Thank you for easing my mind! I just had to keep saying, “Father, You have to still write this for me!” Praise God, He did! :) You are such an exhorter and I appreciate you!!

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