Well, I Did It Again!
Yes, I have had another “Lucy” episode. Tonight, hubby and I went out to dinner and back to GNC for me to start the shakes over! Yes, precious reader, I fell off the diet band wagon, actually I jumped off and planted myself at the first dinner table I could find and haven’t quite left it since! But, I am back to my “goals’ full force!! I mean it, reallllyyyy mean it this time!!
This has not produced what I would call exactly a sense of happiness in me so I decided while I was in the city I would do something that would produce great joy! I decided to go to Petco and buy sweet Gracie some toys and “desserts”. If I can’t have them, she may as well! While I am standing at the cookies shoving them by the handfuls into my sack a gentleman passed by me. He turned back and watched me as I shoved them into the sack momentarily daydreaming of all the sweetness of those cookies, even if they were for Gracie, Daisy, and yes even hubby loves them! They are people food without as much sugar! I looked up at this gentleman and saw a puppy in his arms. Now, you all know I cannot resist any puppy except for pit bulls (sorry if you love them they just aren’t for me!). “Awwwww…what is your puppy??” Automatically he hands the puppy to me. As soon as I take it to love it, he replies, “Pit Bull“. Grrreaaatttt!!! I feel a chill seize me. I imagine strong jaws, even stronger than mine, opening and teeth sinking into my hand and then those jaws locking in place! Then my writer’s imagination is halted instantly by something! Oh, no! It couldn’t be!! My fear turned to total nausea when I realize I smelled the odor of a SKUNK all over this poor puppy! Only in Texas!!!
Nothing in life is stronger and more debilitating to me than nausea and I could feel it worsening! I take another veryyyy small whiff. I close my eyes and will myself to keep the fake “Oh, how precious!” smile on my face!! It was the odor of a skunk without a doubt!! Somehow this puppy had beeen sprayed by a skunk! “I don’t think he wants a cookie and I have to find my husband!! Thank you for letting me hold him! Here, and goodbye!” I say as I RUN for the back of the store! I find hubby.
“Baby!” As usual he is in his own little world, totally oblivious to me. “BABYYYY!!!!!!” I say MUCH more insistently and pretty loud! “Huh??” comes his usual reply! “Smell me!!” A look of total confusion and “why after 30 years of this should I be surprised” comes across his face! I raise my hands to his nose. “Take HUGE whiffs, now!!” I instruct. This is becoming another one of my “emergencies”. “What do you smell???” “Nothing!” I roll my eyes! I mean my word!! This man needs a doctor!!! He needs a specialist!! “Are you really smelling??” “YES!” “Well, smell up my arm! What do you smell??” “Isn’t that the perfume your mother gave you for Christmas?” he asks. “SMELL ME GOOD!! AND, ALL OVER!! MY ARMS, MY CHEST! EVERYWHERE A PUPPY COULD LIE!!” I am pleading at this point! Two workers discussing the birds ask me if I am okay. “Do you have any hand sanitizer?” I ask, almost in tears. They take me to the nearest hand sanitizer. “Do I smell like a skunk to you??” They look at me and each other with the same confused look hubby was having on his face. I told them about the puppy and the skunk odor. They know immediately the puppy and the “gentleman” who had him. “Oh, no!!!!”, they both exclaim at the same time.
Now, hubby had snapped back to reality. He begins to turn me every which way and inhales deeply. While he does I proceed to take a literal bath in hand sanitizer! He smelled a faint smell! “Oh, dear Lord” is all I could think. Suddenly, I began to think more clearly!!! What if that skunk had been a RABID skunk??? Was I exposed?? Would I have to do the unthinkable and get a series of three painful $1600.00 a piece shots?? I call Sunshine! Naturally, she was at work and wasn’t on break! I call Daddy! I tell him every detail fighting back tears!! “Daddy, do I need a rabies shot???” “NO!” “Why not? Because he didn’t bite me or scratch me or draw blood?” “That is right”, my brilliant, knows all the answers to medicine father tells me. I begin to feel somewhat better. Then I feel the need to ask hubby did he think Daddy was really right? He did…I think he just wanted to shut me up!
I get home and Sunshine calls. I tell her the whole sordid story as I spray all of Gracie’s toys with Lysol before letting her have them. She gives me the same answer Daddy did! Yes, I am feeling better as I walk into the washroom and put in the washing machine everything the dog touched and set it on the HOTTEST setting without burning it (which actually occurred to me, but they were my favorite jeans and shirt!).
At this point, precious reader, all I can think is, why do I feel the need to take everything that is literally handed to me! I mean when am I going to stop that reflex?? I am also questioning should I take my fourth bath of the night??? I believe I will! Oh, and let us keep this one just between us, too! Until next time, please pray I stay out of trouble! It really does take the whole world praying sometimes for that to happen!