MARRIAGE AND FAMILY
It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home. Proverbs 25:24
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down (with her actions and words). Proverbs 14:1
As women, we play a vital role in the atmosphere of our home. There is a saying, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” What this means is the mother or the wife sets the attitude of the home and those in it. Even though we are told and know it to be true, that our husbands are head of the home, we as women are the heart of it!
Think about the physical heart. If the heart doesn’t beat correctly the whole body suffers. The kidneys, lungs, liver, brain, and all the other major organs don’t get the correct amount of oxygen and blood flow they need and they slowly begin to suffer major damage and eventually they die. It is the same in a family. When the mother stops being the spiritual pillar God meant her to be, when she lets life determine her mood, her thoughts, her faithfulness to God or lack thereof; it affects the husband, children and grandchildren. I have seen mothers leave church (this is a major sign of where a Christian stands in faithfulness to God) and take their husbands and children right out with them. They then wonder what happened when catastrophe hits, and know it will hit if you fall away from God! The wife and mother herself may have just as well gone to her front door and opened it and said, “Come right in, satan! I am now welcoming you to make yourself right at home!” There are only two choices in who you will follow. If you aren’t following God wholeheartedly you are following satan, whether you did it consciously or not, and you will have the effects of it!
If you aren’t walking closely with God, you are not going to be full of joy. A woman who isn’t full of the joy of the Lord begins to look for that joy other places. It may be in hobbies, vacations, get-aways, or jobs. The problem is true joy is only found in one place and that is in the presence of God! No other place or person on the face of the earth satisfies like Jesus does!
When joy begins to fade contention sets in. The Bible says it is better for a man to dwell in a desert than in a home with a contentious wife! What is contention? The Free Online Dictionary defines it as “the act or an instance of striving in controversy or debate.” The synonym for it is “discord”. Discord is defined as…
a. Lack of agreement among persons, groups, or things.
b. Tension or strife resulting from a lack of agreement; dissension.
c. A confused or harsh sound or mingling of sounds.
Many husbands call this “nagging”. Contention is a constant atmosphere of strife, an environment rife with strife, a feeling of walking on egg shells, and ladies we cannot always blame it on menopause, especially if we are in our 20s and 30s! No matter what your age, you have self-control if you are born again. It is one of the fruit of the spirit
! It comes with your salvation!
I am thinking
of a woman today as I write this whose life has been horrible and it has been that way because she never completely forgave the incidents of her past. She has been married and remarried to the same man numorous times! She blames her personality “defects” on things that happened to her as a child. Our childhoods do have a part in shaping us, but they don’t have to mold us for the worst! We can let it mold us for the better, no matter how horrible it may have been. You will never make today better by looking to the past! If you live in the past, the saying “history repeats itself” is what occurs. Living and reliving the past never did anyone any good.
Today I watch this lady as she slowly slips away. You want to cry out to her, “No! Don’t go that way!! You have grown children who you can’t force back to church when you leave this time!! You are paying not only with your life, but with the lives of others!!” but there is nothing that can be done. This woman has been used mightily of God. She knows what she is doing. She knew when she first made this new choice. It is like watching a train wreck and you are helpless to stop it. I know what she has opened the door to because God has shown me. The devil has come to steal, kill, and destroy her. She thinks she is in control of it, but she is not. She has taken the bait and it is only a matter of time until she realizes the force with which she is being pulled! She will yank on that line, but the one on the other end is smarter and stronger than she is because she gave him power over herself. She has been her own undoing! Sin is a horrible thing. Sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay.
A wise woman builds her house from God’s wisdom. A wise woman is too smart to open doors knowingly to the devil
. She guards her home and her family. Her husband can trust her to act discreetly and Godly
when no on is watching. She longs for the things of God and knows the consequences of turning from Him. She loves God too much to desert Him for temporary and empty vanities. She prays for her family and grows in God so her family will learn how to act and think when adversity comes. She is a role model to her children and their spouses and their children. She is NEVER the downfall of another or the undoing of her loved ones and her own home!
We are an influence in this world. We may not think we influence much, but we influence more than we know. What we teach our children is passed on to generations to come. What we say and show our husbands, will either make him feel he can take on the world, or wither from harping discouragement!
Don’t give me a mansion with no love, but give me love and I’ll show you a priceless home!