31-39 So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:
They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.
None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.
The Message (MSG)
15-19 That’s why, when I heard of the solid trust you have in the Master Jesus and your outpouring of love to all the followers of Jesus, I couldn’t stop thanking God for you—every time I prayed, I’d think of you and give thanks. But I do more than thank. I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!
King James Version (KJV)
19 God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?
I think this post is specifically for me, but since writing is cathartic I am jumping in. This week, no this year, has been a tough one for me. From almost losing my mom, to developing a heart issue, to my daughter not getting into medical school and having to extend her time in college 2.5 more years, to going through a horrible betrayal and being used by someone I thought was a loyal friend, I have been almost overwhelmed!
I found out this week, my daughter could have had her R.N. in a year through a program that she would have easily been accepted into. The first thing I wondered was why didn’t we, yet again, know about this? Why, yet again, were we a day late and a dollar short? Why, why, why???? This word seemed to weigh so heavily on my mind.
As I prayed and asked God some very specific questions and as I reminded Him of what a great daughter I had been (am I the only one that does this during a pity party?) and how I had literally said all my life, “God, my life is yours! I surrender everything to you! Just tell me what you want me to do and I will do it!! I am willing to give all!” Why had things not worked out like I thought they would, or even how I thought they should?
God began to show me two things. I have preconceived notions on how He is to or should do some things and I tend to try to “fix” it all if it doesn’t go according to those notions. As I prayed, “surrendering” it all, again, God asked me a question I had never thought of. “What if My plan is for you to stay in a church in a little town and help one or two at a time?” WHAT??? This was something I had NEVER thought of. Every time I “surrender” it all, I see foreign countries and masses turning out to hear me speak of Jesus and His salvation to the world. Every time I surrender all I see my “wisdom” in book form as best sellers and “More on the way!!!” signs. What if I am never a best-selling author. What if I can’t even really write?? What if all of this was really just for me and people were kind enough to drop in and give an encouraging word to keep me going?
Suddenly, I began to look very deeply and wonder where my identity really was. Was this all for Him? Was I trying to prove to myself I had worth and the “numbers” and “successes” of projects proved it? Yes! I had left why this started and it had become a “I have value” project. My self-worth is not a project. Whether I have a million readers or NONE, this is between God and me, and I am loved and valued in His eyes whether I ever write one more word or ten billion! The blood of Jesus has made me worthy, and I was greatly loved before I even knew that. I have worth and value if I ever write a best seller or if what I write never makes a dime, or even publication. I am loved and valued, even when I can’t fix it all, and I can’t.
I can’t make my daughter’s life perfect, I can’t make my mother’s health perfect, I can’t make my heart beat at a normal rate, I can’t make everyone like me, and I can’t be responsible for other people’s bad behavior. I can’t fix the past! I can’t “redo” my children’s lives or even my own. I can only move forward in trusting God.
Trust is a hard thing for me. It is one of the hardest things God has ever asked me to do. But, I have to remember Numbers 23:19. “God is not a man that He should lie, neither is He the son of man. Has He not said it, and shall He not make it good?” God is not a man…He is fully reliable. He will never betray my trust, trick me, fool me, tell me He will do something and then won’t do what He promised, or not love and accept me just as I am.
I can’t fix it, but thank God, I don’t have to. I don’t have to be a best-selling author, I don’t have to make anyone’s life or future perfect, I don’t have to leave my little town to make a difference for God, I just need to make sure my focus IS God! I have to remember diligently HE is the author, not me, and the finisher of my faith, and He WILL get me where I need to be and my loved ones where they need to be emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Thank God I can kiss the “projects” good-bye and just live my life out following Him one day at a time. In the good and the not so good, He has me and He has what I care about. I can live with my confidence in Him to make things as they should be one day at a time….