When you first find out you are going to be a mother, you hear all types of advice and things to expect. You are told to play classical music and point the speakers toward your growing tummy and your baby will be musically inclined, to read the encyclopedia to it and they will be gifted, what stroller to get, what baby bed is best, what to do the nursery in, the best pediatricians to use, and the list goes on and on! But, what you don’t hear about is the pain and agony you go through when they grow up and leave you.
My son lives in Arkansas. He is a minister and I am so very blessed!! Our vacation has been spent seeing him. I don’t want to say good-bye, I don’t want to leave. No amount of Chihuahuas (well, maybe one more…or two) take away the pain of my children growing up! You know it HAS to happen, is bound to happen, and something would be wrong if it didn’t, BUT there is no comfort in that either!
I still have my daughter and will for two more years, which I am grateful for (it makes her cry for some reason…go figure!). But, empty nesting the second time is just as hard as it was the first time…why didn’t anyone tell me about this?? Is there a support group for this sort of thing???
I look at the love my children have for God and others, the way they love to serve, and to hear what they want for the future. I love to see how they write scriptures and tape them to their mirrors and speak the word, knowing it in their hearts not just their heads! I am blessed, so very blessed!
You never stop being a mother and they will never stop being your babies. I will be fine…they just better realize they will never get too big for my lap or my rocking chair, no matter where that may be! The book “I Love You Forever” is so true…I love you forever, and forever my baby you will be!
It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home. Proverbs 25:24
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down (with her actions and words). Proverbs 14:1
As women, we play a vital role in the atmosphere of our home. There is a saying, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” What this means is the mother or the wife sets the attitude of the home and those in it. Even though we are told and know it to be true, that our husbands are head of the home, we as women are the heart of it!
Think about the physical heart. If the heart doesn’t beat correctly the whole body suffers. The kidneys, lungs, liver, brain, and all the other major organs don’t get the correct amount of oxygen and blood flow they need and they slowly begin to suffer major damage and eventually they die. It is the same in a family. When the mother stops being the spiritual pillar God meant her to be, when she lets life determine her mood, her thoughts, her faithfulness to God or lack thereof; it affects the husband, children and grandchildren. I have seen mothers leave church (this is a major sign of where a Christian stands in faithfulness to God) and take their husbands and children right out with them. They then wonder what happened when catastrophe hits, and know it will hit if you fall away from God! The wife and mother herself may have just as well gone to her front door and opened it and said, “Come right in, satan! I am now welcoming you to make yourself right at home!” There are only two choices in who you will follow. If you aren’t following God wholeheartedly you are following satan, whether you did it consciously or not, and you will have the effects of it!
If you aren’t walking closely with God, you are not going to be full of joy. A woman who isn’t full of the joy of the Lord begins to look for that joy other places. It may be in hobbies, vacations, get-aways, or jobs. The problem is true joy is only found in one place and that is in the presence of God! No other place or person on the face of the earth satisfies like Jesus does!
When joy begins to fade contention sets in. The Bible says it is better for a man to dwell in a desert than in a home with a contentious wife! What is contention? The Free Online Dictionary defines it as “the act or an instance of striving in controversy or debate.” The synonym for it is “discord”. Discord is defined as…
Have a wonderful weekend!
Also visit me at: http://reshapeyourfocus.com
My brother is a board certified attorney. He missed a genius I.Q. by 5 points. All of his life everything he ever touched turned to gold. He was in National Honor Society along with many other honor societies and classes, and then when he went to college he became the Student Government Association‘s president among many other honorable positions. He got into one of the top law schools on his first try and he has been my parent’s pride and joy since we got him from Edna Gladney at the age of 9 days old. Yes, he is adopted!
My mother was not supposed to have children due to a heart condition. She ignored doctors warnings and had me and almost did not live through it. It was my parent’s only choice to adopt! They have never regretted that decision! What if my brother’s birth mother had decided to abort him instead? How very sad for so many! She was young, just eighteen years old. This was in a time you were considered at a very low estimation if you had a baby out-of-wedlock. She put aside herself in every way to have my brother. What great selfless love on this wonderful lady’s part!!
Why abort when there are so many couples who have tried everything, just to have one, “I am so sorry” answer from the doctor after another? “Thou shalt not kill” means just that! You DON’T kill!! For those that would say, “Well, in the first stages it isn’t a baby!” What is it then?? A guppie????
When I was eleven weeks pregnant with the Rev. I began to bleed profusely. My doctor sent me directly to the E.R. for an ultrasound to be sure I had not miscarried. As the technician began my ultrasound at just 11 weeks gestation (notice that is just a little over 2 months; women rarely know they are pregnant at this point, it is so early) I saw the sweetest little thing. There was a head, legs, feet, arms, and hands that looked like minus signs they were so tiny. He was asleep at first and not moving. As she probed my stomach for pictures of my baby she awakened him and suddenly, my BABY turned on his side to FACE ME! His little hands went from being inanimately suspended in air to him putting each hand on each little cheek! I cried, and fell instantly in love with my precious baby!! I will never forget that moment! How human can you get people??? My son was a human, not a guppy, not just a burst of cells (which is life, I might add!)! He was forever my baby, THEN and now!
I have counselled women for a long time. I know the horrors that can happen to women. When it comes to the life of the mother over the child I can only imagine what a husband can do. He has to make a choice and it isn’t one he WANTS to have to make! But if a woman is aborting because she doesn’t want to lose her figure (shame on your vain self!!!), she doesn’t have time for a child, she isn’t ready to be a mother, the father suddenly skips out and she cannot care for her LOVED baby as it needs, then adoption is the sure and only answer!
My father was in medicine for over 40 years and is still a medical consultant. When he began to tell me about “live abortions” I had to stop him and I lost the contents of my stomach. A baby can feel when you are only eight weeks pregnant. It feels pain, just as you and I do. They feel the abortion! It is one of the most horrendous ways to die! How hard is it to go to an adoption center, who will pay for ALL of your care and give to a couple who can never know the joy of growing a family?? How selfless and loving, just as my brother’s birth mother was!
If you have had an abortion, I don’t condemn you, precious heart!! I don’t know what you were going through and the Lord has forgiven it and forgotten it if you have repented! Know you will see your healthy baby again one day, if you are a Christian. That is not what this article is about! I just want you to realize there is an answer for you or someone you may know that is considering this! There is more than hope for you!!! Please, give hope to your baby, too! Know you gave the greatest gift of love a mother can give when you gave life and a child’s life a chance. In my opinion, you are literally a heroine!
Nothing is EVER hopeless with God…and I do mean NOTHING!! Blessings to you, precious reader! I will see you soon! Juliana
My husband tells me I could get in trouble in an empty room! I will let you in on a little secret though…the older you get, the more people become more “understanding” of you!
Yesterday, Sunshine was off and we had to take the puppies in for their heartworm shots. When the kids were little and had to have their immunizations, it hurt me more than it hurt them! I would always take them to the toy store of their choice and let them choose a toy for having to go through their “trauma”. I would then let them pick any place they wanted to eat lunch and they could have any thing they chose! Well, this seems to have rubbed off on my daughter with her chihuahua, Daisy. After the shot and vet visit, she announced it would be time for toys and doggie cookies! Where does she get these things??
Before the cheery part, this is what I heard all the way there…
“Oh, sweet baby…Mommy loves you…I am soooooo sorry…Oh, Momma she cried last time so I know it is going to hurt!” This is the one who is going to be a nurse! Finally I said, “If you will be calm, she will be calm. Act like there is nothing to it and she will be fine!” I was upset on the inside, too because I knew she was right and Gracie (mine) had to get the shot, too!
I decided to maximize the idea of a treat afterwards! It seemed to take SUNSHINE’S edge off! After it was all said and done, they didn’t even whimper, but off we went to the pet store anyway for cookies and anything else “soothing” we could find. Here are some pictures of the “trouble” we got into! I hope you enjoy them as much as we did!
Great! She found the “Easter” stuff!
Gracie wants to know, “Where is the nearest exit?”
Hubby was right! :) See you next time, precious reader!!