Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. …Psalm 95:1-11 ESV
The saying we are our own worst enemy is so true, and so very sad. When there is an “enemy” to us, we are not the only ones to suffer. The ones who love us suffer, also. When we make impossible demands on our spouses or we are a walking contradiction in what we SAY makes us happy as opposed to what actually does, we have become enemies to our own marriages.
I want to give you some “happiness” tips. Simple tweaks can make huge differences!
1. Don’t say one thing, but mean another. If you want flowers from your husband on Valentine’s Day, don’t tell him you don’t! It is amazing to me how much this sort of thing happens in marriages and then the wife is angry and bitter because of it. I was talking to a lady recently that told me her husband always forgets her birthday. She then told me she stopped celebrating it over 20 years ago because something tragic happened to her family just a day or two before her birthday. She was upset with her husband for not celebrating her birthday, yet she herself tells others she doesn’t celebrate due to bad memories. When her WORDS are respected (because this isn’t how she really feels or what she even wants) and the birthday comes and goes without fanfare, she is upset! You cannot win in this contradiction she has created! I actually felt sorry for her husband. If you want something, don’t tell others you don’t and then resent them when they respect your wishes! You have put your mate in a place they cannot win and you have lied and been deceptive in your relationship. You said one thing when you actually meant another…that is not truth! You have also opened the door for the devil to bring bitterness into your heart. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
2. Don’t expect your spouse to be a mind reader! If something is bothering me that my husband is doing or not doing, when he asks me what is wrong I don’t tell him nothing is and then give the silent treatment until the poor thing figures it out! Some people love to pout! They love for people to feel sorry for them, and frankly, they love the attention this unhealthy and neurotic behavior gets! If you are doing this, you are being very unfair to your spouse and you are NOT walking in the love of God! Even the Bible tells us to ask God so that we may receive and God can read your mind! If God expects you to ask Him, He expects you to afford your mate the same respect! If your spouse is not meeting a need you have, tell them in love! At the same time, turn it around and ask them if there is something they need you to do or change. After all, you are no mind reader either!
3. Return the favor! There are things my husband does for me all the time without me having to ask. One of those things is washing my car, keeping the oil changed, and keeping all the “stickers” up to date! He isn’t required to do this. He does it out of his love for me. One day my husband called me from work. This particular day was a hectic one for me. It seemed everyone that day needed a piece of me. I had things I had to get done for a project, my children had things that needed my attention, I had a million errands to run, and I didn’t feel well that day. When he called he asked me very sweetly if I could pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. It was as if it was the last straw. I curtly told him I would, all the while thinking how he could so easily pull into the cleaners on his way home. I even voiced this to him! What had I done? I had overscheduled myself through poor planning and I let my husband suffer the effects of it. There he had been lovingly serving me and I was resentful when he asked for one simple thing! I knew that suit was in the cleaners and I knew before this particular day it needed to be picked up. I should have gone and gotten it for him without having to be asked. I would have been furious if my husband had made me last on his list of priorities, yet that is what I had done to him. Be appreciative of the little things instead of concentrating on all that you could gripe about! Think about them and mull them over in your mind until you truly are grateful! Then think about how you can bless your spouse the way they have blessed you. You will be amazed the change in the atmosphere of your home and in your relationship by doing something so simple!
I hope you have gleaned from this, precious reader! None of these things require major effort, but they make a huge difference in whether our relationships fail or succeed! They are well worth doing and you will find your love deepening through the years because of them instead of slipping slowly away from one another!
Blessings to you. I will see you soon! Juliana
I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone—for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 1 Timothy 2:1-24.
Today was Christmas with my children and my future-daughter-in-love, and my husband. We have it early because of work schedules conflicting, going to other family members homes and by the time it is all said and done Christmas, along with cooking, lasts 5 days! They are days full of movies, eating, cooking, laughing, eating, gift exchanging, eating, and more eating!
Today was Christmas at our house! My daughter-in-love loves animals! She has rescued dogs and kittens. Her heart is full of love for animals and people! She loves to get to the heart of things and make people closer, she loves to rescue! She just has a huge heart of love to give! Gracie is my chihuahua and my daughter-in-love is just naturally attracted to her.
It is the strangest thing, she goes to Gracie to hold her and Gracie would jump Mount Everest to get away from her! It is bothersome and hurtful to her because she wants to be close to her. Gracie is different! She has never been completely normal. She adores me, but I got her when she was older and she wasn’t socialized.
Today, as my daughter-in-love reached out to try to bond her with her, yet again, Gracie shied away. Even when she tries to give her a treat she will run from her! My daughter-in-love, nor the rest of us, can figure it out. As I watched my heart broke for my daughter-in-love. She desires so deeply to have relationship with Gracie, but Gracie just pushes away and cries forcing her to put her down.
That is how many do with God. As the Holy Spirit woos them, they push God away. Everything God has for us is good and an abundant supply of nothing but blessings and love, yet we force our own way, which is imperfect and filled with flaws, and in so doing push God and what He has away.
People always ask where God is when tragedy strikes. He is there. Some have embraced Him and peace comes. Others have pushed Him away, wanting to maintain control of their lives and when something happens that is beyond their control, they blame God, become angry and bitter with Him when He has been there all the time! You see, dear reader, you are truly never in control anyway! Only by taking God’s Word and the authority of the name of Jesus, can you have the protection and joy of knowing you are secure in His hands.
If you do not know Jesus as your Saviour this is a good time to receive Him! What a better time than Christmas! Start your new year with a new destiny, not just a fate.
See you soon, precious reader! May the abundant blessings of God be yours now and forever!!
Amplified Bible (AMP)
22 A good man leaves an inheritance [of moral stability and goodness] to his children’s children, and the wealth of the sinner [finds its way eventually] into the hands of the righteous, for whom it was laid up.
This is my maternal grandmother. She was wonderful at everything she did! She was married to my grandfather for over sixty years. She would literally dream of patterns and wake up the next day, get her sewing machine out, go to the general store and make my mother the dress she had dreamed.
She sewed so well that at a birthday party my mother attended as a child another mother asked my grandmother her where she had purchased my mother’s dress. My grandmother told her she made it. The mother became so angry with my grandmother, thinking my grandmother lied and it had to have come from a store because it looked so professionally made, she never spoke to my grandmother again! My grandmother could literally run circles around Martha Stewart and I am not bragging! Anyone who knew my grandmother knows I am telling the absolute truth!
My grandmother could cook, too! Thank God my mother inherited that trait! My grandmother made her own seasoning to brine the turkey, made her own dressing recipe, and many salads and side dishes straight from her yummy imagination!
One of the things that made my grandmother so great at all she did was the fact she could take and desired constructive criticism! People we would have over for the holidays, many times, thought we were being mean to Maw when we would say, “The turkey is good, but just a bit saltier this year.” What they didn’t know is Maw would always tell us, “You are not doing me any favors lying to me! If something is off you better tell me! I want it right and I don’t want you to lie to me to spare my feelings! You aren’t hurting them to begin with! I will be more upset if something is wrong and you lie to me and I always do it wrong and never get it as it needs to be!!” And she meant it! She left no question about that! You better not lie to Maw, even if it was a negative truth. She would always sit and when we would say something, she would repeat it to remember it. You could see the wheels turning in her mind making mental notes as to what she needed to tweak next time.
My mother is the same way! You better tell her the truth or you are in trouble! She can run circles around Paula Deen! Paula hasn’t tasted dressing until she tastes Momma‘s!! We still use the perfected recipes Maw passed down to us; perfected because my grandmother was not so prideful she expected a disrespectful lie instead a respectful truth! My mother is no different.
When we sit down to a holiday meal, my mother is on one end of the table and I am on the other. We pick up our forks and tastes the same things at the same time and the critiquing begins! My mother has aged and cannot do it all anymore. I love to help her in the kitchen. Many times I say, “Now, Momma let me do it and you watch to make sure I am doing it right!” She does and when I am “off” on something she gently steers me back to her perfection! I say that to say this….when the meal is critiqued I am getting critiqued as well! I have learned to take the truth with the right attitude because Maw passed that attitude down to Momma and me.
My precious reader, you are doing yourself a favor and your children and the generations to come when you take truth as a helping tool, not a stumbling block of offense! If my grandmother had not been that way, we would probably have to have the whole thing catered today and wouldn’t have the heritage of all the delicious recipes, much less the attitude that no amount of money can buy and no one can take away! That was the best thing my grandmother left to us! How to make yourself better and not be offended in the process!
Through mistakes we do not necessarily learn. Many are too prideful to ever admit they ever make them, much less learn from them. It is in the correction of those mistakes and how we take it we learn and grow to be better people!
The next time someone criticizes you, whether in love or negatively, turn it into a positive truth! Take it as something that, in all reality no matter how it is given, you let it grow you not insult you! Remember even “haters are your best motivators!” Have a wonderful day, my precious reader! Blessings to you in abundance!!