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Marriage and Family-Marriage Killer #4…Public Belittling

 don't belittle

 

 

 

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY

Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.  Ephesians 4:29

18-19 People who shrug off deliberate deceptions,
    saying, “I didn’t mean it, I was only joking,”                                                                                                                                  
Are worse than careless campers
    who walk away from smoldering campfires.  Proverbs 26:18-19  The Message Bible

It is important to have friends and couples to socialize with throughout your marriage.  Whether you have been married 1 month or 50 years, you need couples of “like precious faith”.  Iron sharpens iron, and it is never a good idea go be an isolated sheep.  It is the isolated sheep the wolf always goes for because they are so unprotected.  They have no support system and everyone needs one!

Find the couples Sunday School class at church, or watch the bulletin for cook outs, game nights, fun trips, or a group going to a sporting event.  Build a support group with the people in your church!  With that being said, there can be some pitfalls to this, too!  Take these to heart so you don’t fall into them.

It is so important that you uplift your mate in public.  I have seen people do long-term damage to their spouses by trying to be funny and making them the butt of a joke.  I don’t care how funny that may be to a group, you, or anyone else, nobody likes to be made fun of or have their less than perfect traits brought out in public and poked fun at!  All this does is stir up strife, upset, and hurt feelings.  If this happens too much, it is very likely you will find yourself sitting at home and not going out anymore, or maybe even sitting at home alone! 

Every word spoken out of your mouth toward your mate, and others in the body of Christ should be uplifting and encouraging.  If something is bothering you about your spouse, you should not use the public as a platform to “correct” whatever it is.  Believe me, it will not get corrected through public embarrassment!

I have seen couples do this and I think they do it because they mistakenly think, if the world knows about what is bothering them at home, the spouse will stop it so they can’t be humiliated again.  How ridiculous does that sound?  It sounds ridiculous because that is what it is!  DO NOT AIR YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY IN PUBLIC! 

Your spouse is not a joke and you should not be treating them as though they were.  So many things tie back to childhood!  What if your spouse was bullied, mocked, had the reputation of being the “school geek”.  When you do these types of things, even in fun, it is a reminder of uglier days gone by to them.  You should be the person your mate feels safest with!  You are the one they should be able to run to when it seems the whole world is imploding on them.  If you have been having fun at their expense, you will be like everyone else that has purposely hurt them and you will lose your mate’s respect toward you.  They will feel alone and isolated, even in the marriage where love is meant to be abounding and your role is to be supportive, especially emotionally!

Look closely at our scriptures and meditate on them.  1.  NEVER let anything that is not building up of another come out of your mouth!  2.  The  tongue is powerful and is many times likened to having the power that can set a forest ablaze!  Have you ever heard of someone’s temper set ablaze?  Then to say, “I was just kidding!”  makes it even worse!  Just because something is a joke to you, doesn’t automatically deem it funny to everyone else.

My husband and I had attended a social gathering with some other couples.  There was a man who was doing this very thing with his wife…laughing at her expense.  I don’t know what he thought, because some were laughing because they did think it was funny, others were laughing because they were uncomfortable, and she wasn’t laughing at all!  Her eyes were shooting daggers at her husband and he was completely unphased as he continued his stand up comic routine about her!  I can only imagine what happened when she got him home!!

Husbands and wives, if you want peace in your home, don’t breed contention outside of it!  It seems some people are just born contrary, but many times I have found, there is a root of it that is coming from somewhere other than “they were just born cranky”.  If your mate had told you something bothers them, then LISTEN!  Don’t do what they have told you bothers them, and then expect them to be happy and peaceful with you!    If you have been asked to stop and you don’t stop, YOU have bred the contention in that person and your life will be filled with something that is uncomfortable and aggravating for all.  Don’t press negative buttons, in other words,  and expect a loving and peaceful mate!

A loving, peaceful relationship is one that is always being cultivated!  Make sure we are good “husbandmen” of our homes!  In the long run, it will reap great and wonderful benefits!

Blessings to you, precious reader!!  I will see you soon!  Simply,  Juliana

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Gun Laws…Are They Really An Answer or the Beginning of Another Problem?

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I have a friend that works in a hunting and fishing section of a major retailer.  I asked this friend what was truly necessary and what was the process someone must go through in order to buy ANY gun, including assault rifles (which they call modern sporting rifles). 

I was told the process is you must have an up to date drivers license and it must be shown AND it must have your current physical address on it.  The information is taken and permanently logged.  The customer must then fill out a form specifying name, date of birth, height, weight, etc..  At that point, the company workers run a background check.  Many precautions are taken even beyond the background check.  For example, if someone is a “Junior” sometimes it may take a couple of days to be approved so that it can be thoroughly checked that the “Junior” is not the “Senior”! 

When the background check is run, according to the results, you are either approved, denied, or delayed.  Once you are approved, the gun is then registered to your name!  In other words, if you or someone else does anything illegally with the gun, it WILL be traced back to you and you will be arrested!!

The question is this.  Since Joe Blow cannot just walk in off the street and say, “I like that one, I’ll take it.” why is it necessary to add extra restrictions that a criminal mind will find a way to get around?

About 2 weeks ago, my cousin was brutally attacked by three men.  She had gone to her daughter-in-law’s home and while getting out of her car, they jumped her from behind.  She began to scream because they were beating her.  She fought back with no weapon.  They overpowered her and THEY had a gun they kept putting to her head and beneath her chin.  Their intent was to rob, rape, and murder her.  Her daughter-in-law heard the screams.  She came out to check on my cousin and saw what was happening.  Her three children were in the house.  She ran and as she ran one of the men ran after her.  She made it to the bedroom where she had a legally owned gun!  The alleged criminals did NOT have legally owned guns!  She grabbed it and shot the man.  She wounded him to the point he was hospitalized but not killed.  If she had not had the gun, they would have murdered her, her three children and her mother-in-law who also had to be hospitalized with a severe concussion! 

After the arrest of the other two men, the police found out that they had allegedly been burglarizing several houses in the adjacant city.  They had allegedly carjacked another woman, stole her ATM card and when one of the men went in to the store to use it to rob her, one of the other men raped her in her own car.  They did it at gunpoint, in which case they had the gun illegally, all allegedly, of course (ahem)!  I ask you…where is the sense here?  Who is benefitting from additonal gun control?  An upstanding citizen will do what is right and obtain a gun the right way.  A criminal knows no right or wrong and follows their OWN set of rules!  Don’t outlaw or OPEN THE DOOR for criminals to have power over law-abiding, innocent citizens!  Common sense is all it takes to know this is right!

When certain laws are made, as we have seen with Obamacare, it is always filled with loopholes to do things the citizens never had knowledge of!  Don’t allow another law to not only restrict your rights, but nullify your power to make a decision that is best for you and your family!!  Believe me, there will be loopholes you will never be told about in my opinion (covering my behind here)!

Wisdom is needed and necessary.  We must not allow half-truths and people with their own agendas, whoever they may be,  talk us out of or put a “spin” on what we know to be wise and right!  This is not about a political party!  This is about our constitutional right to bear arms for self-protection and preservation of our lives and the lives of those we love and hold dear!!   Juliana


James 4…Proud or Humble?

james 4

James 4

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

Proud or Humble

4 What is the source of wars and fights among you? Don’t they come from the cravings that are at war within you?[a] 2 You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. You do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and don’t receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your evil desires.

4 Adulteresses![b][c] Don’t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So whoever wants to be the world’s friend becomes God’s enemy. 5 Or do you think it’s without reason the Scripture says that the Spirit who lives in us yearns jealously?[d]

6 But He gives greater grace. Therefore He says:

God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.[e]

7 Therefore, submit to God. But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people! 9 Be miserable and mourn and weep. Your laughter must change to mourning and your joy to sorrow. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.

11 Don’t criticize one another, brothers. He who criticizes a brother or judges his brother criticizes the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. 12 There is one lawgiver and judge[f] who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

Our Will and His Will

13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will travel to such and such a city and spend a year there and do business and make a profit.” 14 You don’t even know what tomorrow will bring—what your life will be! For you are like smoke that appears for a little while, then vanishes.

15 Instead, you should say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” 16 But as it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 So it is a sin for the person who knows to do what is good and doesn’t do it.


James 4…Proud or Humble?

james 4

James 4

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

Proud or Humble

4 What is the source of wars and fights among you? Don’t they come from the cravings that are at war within you?[a] 2 You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. You do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and don’t receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your evil desires.

4 Adulteresses![b][c] Don’t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So whoever wants to be the world’s friend becomes God’s enemy. 5 Or do you think it’s without reason the Scripture says that the Spirit who lives in us yearns jealously?[d]

6 But He gives greater grace. Therefore He says:

God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.[e]

7 Therefore, submit to God. But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people! 9 Be miserable and mourn and weep. Your laughter must change to mourning and your joy to sorrow. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.

11 Don’t criticize one another, brothers. He who criticizes a brother or judges his brother criticizes the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. 12 There is one lawgiver and judge[f] who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

Our Will and His Will

13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will travel to such and such a city and spend a year there and do business and make a profit.” 14 You don’t even know what tomorrow will bring—what your life will be! For you are like smoke that appears for a little while, then vanishes.

15 Instead, you should say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” 16 But as it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 So it is a sin for the person who knows to do what is good and doesn’t do it.


The One Who Lives With Integrity Will Be Helped, But One Who Distorts Right and Wrong Will Fall

Proverbs 28

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

28 The wicked flee when no one is pursuing them, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.

2 When a land is in rebellion, it has many rulers, but with a discerning and knowledgeable person, it endures.

3 A destitute leader[a] who oppresses the poor is like a driving rain that leaves no food.

4 Those who reject the law praise the wicked, but those who keep the law battle against them.

5 Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the Lord understand everything.

6 Better a poor man who lives with integrity than a rich man who distorts right and wrong.[b]

7 A discerning son keeps the law, but a companion of gluttons humiliates his father.

8 Whoever increases his wealth through excessive interest collects it for one who is kind to the poor.

9 Anyone who turns his ear away from hearing the law— even his prayer is detestable.

10 The one who leads the upright into an evil way will fall into his own pit, but the blameless will inherit what is good.

11 A rich man is wise in his own eyes, but a poor man who has discernment sees through him.

12 When the righteous triumph, there is great rejoicing,[c] but when the wicked come to power, people hide themselves.

13 The one who conceals his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them will find mercy.

14 Happy is the one who is always reverent, but one who hardens his heart falls into trouble.

15 A wicked ruler over a helpless people is like a roaring lion or a charging bear.

16 A leader who lacks understanding is very oppressive, but one who hates dishonest profit prolongs his life.

17 A man burdened by bloodguilt[d] will be a fugitive until death. Let no one help him.

18 The one who lives with integrity will be helped, but one who distorts right and wrong[e] will suddenly fall.

19 The one who works his land will have plenty of food, but whoever chases fantasies will have his fill of poverty.

20 A faithful man will have many blessings, but one in a hurry to get rich will not go unpunished.

21 It is not good to show partiality— yet a man may sin for a piece of bread.

22 A greedy man[f] is in a hurry for wealth; he doesn’t know that poverty will come to him.

23 One who rebukes a person will later find more favor than one who flatters[g] with his tongue.

24 The one who robs his father or mother and says, “That’s no sin,” is a companion to a man who destroys.

25 A greedy person provokes conflict, but whoever trusts in the Lord will prosper.

26 The one who trusts in himself[h] is a fool, but one who walks in wisdom will be safe.

27 The one who gives to the poor will not be in need, but one who turns his eyes away[i] will receive many curses.

28 When the wicked come to power, people hide, but when they are destroyed, the righteous flourish.

 


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